There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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