If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
