Can Purell be used as lube?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
