those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I smell stomach acid.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
