dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
