If i come over, it means nothing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
