Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
