Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
