I skipped work to stalk him.
only if we run a train.
done.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
