Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
