Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
