You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
