New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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