Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
