Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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