he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it because I queefed?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
