this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
