white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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