Who wears a wallet chain?!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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