if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
