Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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