Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
