Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
