I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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