I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
