so that wasnt chicken after all
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize