if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
