Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
