I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
