I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
