is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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