The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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