Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
