you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
