yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have post one night stand depression
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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