OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
