dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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