Buhtt sex?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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