I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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