He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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