He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Too much gin, very little bucket
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
