the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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