I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
