sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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