Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
