Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
