She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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