I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
