How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
did you just send me my own nude
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
