Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just invented taco cereal.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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