So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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