I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
