so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
