I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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