Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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