My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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