no, he came in my armpit
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
