Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
