i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
