So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
