There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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