so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
