did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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