Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
