i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize