we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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