Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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