9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
