...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize